Yesterday was fun.  But at the end of the day, it felt like failure.  In the almost 7 hours I have between school buses I met a friend to walk 2 miles, met with my accountability partner, had a conference call for work, and had a business lunch (with a good friend).  See, all fun. 

But at the end of the day, I didn’t have the courage or the strength to accomplish the 2 or 3 hard tasks I needed to accomplish.  I was thinking and praying last night before I turned out the light.  I was thinking that the only praying I had done before launching into that busy day was to read a Psalm while I was sitting in my car at 8:15 and to thank God for a verse that spoke to me.  And I said, God, I know what this is.  It’s poverty of spirit.  It’s my complete inability to function apart from you, which I realize now has always been true, I’m just now acknowledging it.  I need your strength, I need your help, not just for the big things, but for everything.  I can’t do any of it, I can’t face any of it without you, without your help.

And I thought, tomorrow is going to be more of the same and when am I going to have time for you?  I won’t be able to spend time with you until after lunch.  And lunch is an important meeting with someone who needs me to be filled up.  If I need to get up at 5:30, God, to pray and be with you before my day gets away from me, please wake me up at 5:30.

My alarm was set for 6:20 this morning.  But do you know what time I woke up? 
. . . five, three, zero. 

I dearly hope this is not a new habit I’m being asked to form.

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