I am re-reading Neil Anderson’s Victory Over the DarknessIt is speaking to me in a fresh way.  I am reading the section about personal worth and appraising what I really believe about success, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, etc.  Here’s a quote:

 “. . . you may be wondering, “Must I wait until I am 45 years old or until I experience some kind of mid-life crisis to discover that what I believed in these [personal worth] areas was wrong?”

Neil says no.  But apparently, in my case, if we say 43 instead of 45, the answer is yes.

There is a great deal of very real stress in my life right now.  And there is no doubt that I am currently undergoing a spiritual transformation.  God is taking me places in my walk with Him that I have not even approached before.  I was talking to one friend and described it as God taking me to a new level, but skipping over several to get there.  Another friend described it as an intense degree completion program in God.

However, even given all this I am beginning to realize that there may not be any deep spiritual meaning behind the insomnia, the thyroid problems, the intense mood swings.  Perhaps, just perhaps, those things may be attributed to the big M looming on the horizen. 

Did I have to fall so completely and thoroughly apart when I became a woman of a certain age?  Again, for me, apparently . . . yes.