“. . . In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with a plea, ‘grant me justice against my adversary.’
    “For some time he refused.  But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’
    “And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says.  And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night?  Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.  However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” 

If ever there were two people I would like stricken from the record, they are that pesky persistent widow and her wishy washy judge found in Luke chapter 18.  For they have caused me much confusion over the years.

Paul pleaded three time and then heard, “My grace is sufficient for you.”  Yet the widow was granted justice because she “kept bothering” the judge. 

So, what’s it going to be.  Do I ask three times or do I cry out to him day and night?  In some cases, the answer is pretty clear.  When we are asking God to show a friend or family member the way of salvation, I believe (unless we hear a specific word from the Lord to stop) we cry out again and again, day and night for as many years or decades as it takes.

But, for me, the confusion comes when I am praying for God to change my circumstances.  Is 14 years long enough to pray for healing?  Because, I believe, being born with physical and mental disabilities certainly qualifies as injustice.  Certainly my understanding of “quickly” is finite.  But since the parable is a lesson in human terms, in effect, God talking down to us, why doesn’t he use a word that is easier to understand in the context of justice, like “eventually” or “on that day”?  Or maybe I’m understanding “quickly” ok and it’s what God means by “justice” that eludes me. 

Does 14 years of silence mean no?  As I was wrestling with this question last night . . . again . . . God, who is increasingly speaking to me through images, showed me a picture of a little girl with her fingers in her ears, chanting, “la la la la la.”  So what are you saying to me God?  You’re not silent on the subject, I’m not listening?

God has impressed upon me, maybe because I’ve finally stopped talking and started listening, that I’m not asking for the right things.  So, on the advice of a wise friend, I am asking God what to ask for and I’m trying really hard to mean it.

I’m also meditating on that last sentence in the passage, “will he find faith on the earth?”  What does that mean?  I believe, wholeheartedly, in the miracles of God and have even witnessed some.  Does that mean that, for me, the path to deeper faith is in the “no”?  I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that all I want is to go deeper with God – no matter what the cost.  Because, that’ll be ok because I’ll have God.